Last Wednesday was Valentine’s Day and my social media newsfeed was choking with love (pronounce Laov). Everybody was expressing their undivided laov to their wives/girlfriends/husbands and boyfriends. The singles didn’t want to miss the fun and they claimed that V-day is not only for couples but for anyone whom you love. Therefore they started writing or copy-pasting poems and dedicating them to their friends/parents/siblings/neighbours/pets/in-laws/bosses/blah/blah/blah. The cynics were not left behind they started a counter movement and vehemently labelled V-day as a consumerist trap and started saying that we should boycott V-day and start spending our time, effort and money on social causes. There was honestly so much circus surrounding V-day that I was praying hard for it to get over.
Weeks before V-day newspapers and internet was buzzing with articles/blog posts on how to make our v-day special. And I came across articles like “how to spend your v-day” and the options given were: 1) Go to the most romantic destination Paris 2) Candle-light dinner atop Eiffel tower 3) Sunbathe together in Hawaii..and I was thinking paisa kya tera baap dega?? Then there was another article “How to dress up on V-day”. The article wrote: 1) Wear a red Prada gown 2) Wear a limited edition DKNY perfume 3) Chanel red lipstick ..again I felt like screaming paisa kya Dawood bhai dega.. There were also ‘cheaper’ options. One article said, “10 tips to spend V-day at home”. It said “change the curtains of your house to red, change the wallpaper to a love-themed red with hearts, put a new red bed cover….I stopped reading midway.
Throughout my growing up days, Bollywood taught us “Pyaar kiya nahi jata, ho jata hai”. Shahrukh was the chief propagandist of this slogan, followed by Amir, Salman, Saif, Sahid and even Sunny Deol. So, I always presumed love will happen and till date, I am hoping that eventually one day love will happen. How, when, where and with whom is inconsequential because Bollywood said when love happens “kuch kuch hota hain”. Now what falls within the scope of this “Kuch Kuch” was never explained. So all of us, these Darcy and Vronsky fantasising women kept waiting for this “kuch kuch” to happen and for many of us marriage, kids, in-laws, kid’s school admission, promotion and probably kid’s marriage also happened but this “kuch kuch” never happened. We never met the Tall, Dark, Handsome fellow from the Mills and Boons series and kept waiting and waiting.
Then comes 21st century with all new brands and tells us that for this “kuch kuch” to happen you have to do kuch kuch things like flying to Paris or wearing a Prada two-piece swimsuit.
While I am struggling with kuch kuch others came up with #couplegoals and trust me I am trying hard to understand what it means. I would be highly obliged if you explain this hashtag to me. Does #couplegoals mean the common goal that a couple has or is it the goal that one couple is setting for other couples?
A friend of mine bought his wife Mac makeup set on V-day and his wife posted the image with #couplegoals, so I was wondering did this couple had this as a goal to buy Mac makeup set or are they setting an example that on V-day other couples should also buy Mac. I am honestly confused. Make-up is traditionally used by women so buying make-up ideally would have been the goal of the wife or is it such they both use Mac. I googled and saw few images of #couplegoals and that confused me further. Grrrrrr!!! why am I so dumb and challenged and outdated??? I should be scrapped and thrown to a scrap yard as old junk.
Image Courtesy: Google Images
Our generation is so stressed out that even “love” is something that is making us stressed, So much pressure on all of us to get that “perfect” love. We want to find a partner, turn them into some kind of a trophy and show our love to the whole world. However, my question is how much love do we “feel”? How much love can we feel so that we stop bothering about everything else? Love should make us feel secure, comfortable and at peace with ourselves. On the contrary, love is making us restless and anxious. We are constantly under the pressure to ‘perform’, to look good, to behave like a perfect couple. The insecurities of whether he/she would call me? Was I looking good enough? Did they like my gift? How many likes would our couple picture get?
‘Love’ and ‘Romance’ have been a complicated subject since ages however now it has become even more complicated because somehow we do not know what we want from a relationship. We no more concentrate or nurture. I believe a true relationship should be surreal and spiritual. They should make you feel complete without expecting anything in return.
If you have ever read the “puja” or “prem” episodes of Tagore’s poetry you would understand what I mean. Even during the bhakti movement we saw how they explained the true essence of ‘love’. Think of the songs of Meera or Kabir. They talk about love with God, love with yourself and love without the expectation of being loved back. There should be no stress involved in love.
I feel the best form of love is when there is no destination to arrive. A free-flowing relationship where there is no compulsion of commitment or performance. A love that would bring a smile on your face even without a red rose or a box of chocolates. A love that would help you connect with your inner self. A love that would make you feel happy and content. Alas!! That love is like a unicorn but those who seek it they get it. It starts with self-love.
Linking this post to #MondayMusings hosted by dear Corinne.