“The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it.” – The Lion King
When you look back at your past what do you see? Do you see pain and sadness or laughter and happiness? Perhaps you see a mix of both. I am certain you do not want to look at the ugly and sad incidents from the past and always try to run away from them. But let me tell you, those ugly and painful incidents have been your biggest teacher. If you think carefully then you will realise that you have learnt all your lessons from those incidents.
Let me tell you what you learnt. You have learnt that whatever it may be life is beautiful however just like a rose has thorns life also has few thorns and those thorns can be in form of untoward incidents or some Homo-sapiens. Unpleasant incidents like death and sickness cannot be controlled and we can do nothing about them other than accepting. Early deaths of loved ones leave deep holes in our hearts but those wounds often make us strong and more careful towards ourselves and those around us. Often losing a near and dear one teach us the lesson that nothing is permanent in life and we should be more careful about utilising our time. We should try to make each moment joyful so that when we reach the end we are not left with regrets.
The other thorns come as people. There will be people in your life that will hurt you badly. They would come as your relative, neighbour, friends, lovers and even random strangers. They will say or do nasty things to put you down. Some of them would manage to leave a gaping wound in your heart however you should not get bothered because years later when you will look back at it you will realise that person actually helped you become a better and stronger person. So the best thing to do is to forgive that person. Take care of that wound, let it heal slowly and learn a lesson from it.
Often we give too much importance to undeserving people who do not value our worth. These people are the real toxic people who never appreciate the love that you shower on them because these people are so undeserving that they don’t know how to value relationship. They consider themselves too important and often take a sadistic pleasure in torturing you. They increase their importance by treating the other person as shit. These people actually do not love themselves and therefore incapable to love others. Usually, these people are incapable to see anything good in you and they would often use you to fulfil their needs and when you are unable to satisfy their needs they would move on to another person. They are never repentant of their own deeds and always blame the other person for whatever went wrong. These people are usually so toxic that they would get jealous when they see you happy and usually try to find loopholes in your happy life. The only way to defeat these people is to stop giving them any importance and concentrate on your own happiness. Always remember that your happiness should not be dependent on others. The moment we expect others to make us happy we go wrong and cause more pain to ourselves. Don’t expect anything from anybody; the more you keep your expectations nominal the happier you are. Do not give anybody the “power” to make you happy or sad. The moment you give the control of your happiness or sadness to others the more wretched you make your life. Just be yourself and concentrate on yourself and you will evolve as a person. I think the mantra of a happy life is “I give a damn”. Learn to say “get lost” to the toxic people in your life those who are playing havoc with your mental peace.
For years you have not been able to forgive many of them who hurt you but now you have reached a stage where for your own mental peace you should forgive and forget these people. The best thing is to remember the good things and good people and forgive and forget the bad people as if they never existed.
Love and hugs
I, Me, Myself