Six Months into 2019 and I Found My Muse Back #ZombieBlogHop

Six months into 2019 and I got my muse back, today. Six months ago my muse left me in a lurch. Actually, I was so self-obsessed and confident that I presumed I would do absolutely fine without the muse. However, after my muse left, I found myself in the middle of a creative desert. My ideas stopped brimming, my stories stopped weaving and a bad writer’s block befriended me. My blog turned into barren land and I was staring at it with helpless blank eyes. Strangely, I did not even feel any compulsion to revive it. Gradually, I stopped visiting other blogs also and went into a complete blogging hiatus.

Last month, my blogger friend thebespectacledmother woke me up from sleep (both real and metaphorical) and said that she was shocked to not find the name of my blog in the list of Top Indian Blogs 2019. However, I stayed snobbishly nonchalant. Nothing seemed to matter. I had almost reached Zen where not only my blog’s but even my existence didn’t matter. Who cares about blogs, Alexa, Instagram likes when life itself seems irrelevant.

This morning at around 4am my muse knocked at my window and said: “I keep updating myself on your writings but you seemed to have not written much”. I stared at my muse with pleading eyes and said: “I stopped writing because you left me; I thought I would manage fine but nothing worked and I turned into a slob”. I almost had tears in my eyes while my muse was grinning impishly, I almost fell on my knees and begged: “Please stay, please hang around, and please never ever leave me because, without you, my world turns gray.” Looking at my helpless condition my muse smiled and said: “Ok, I will hang around”. The moment these golden words were uttered I felt a pressing need to write down something and so I sat on my laptop and started writing this post.

Six months back, I had asked my muse to “back off” and like an obedient friend my muse backed off living me in a perpetual state of self-doubt. I tried to replace my creative muse with numerous other things. I stopped writing and started trying to become an “influenzaaa”, likes and comments started pouring in but something within me was feeling extremely hollow without the muse. I felt a part of me was detached.

Then today morning when my muse came back and I sat down to type, I realized how unhappy I have been in the last six months. What I have missed. How I had felt disconnected from my own soul. How I have not been able to pour out my emotions. The moment I wrote the first sentence a strange relief spread over my body and I got back to my old true self. I hope my muse never leaves me again, ever, and I keep writing the way I used to do. Writing is not only something that I love but it is something that completes me. Without my writing and my muse, I feel incomplete.

Zombie Blog HOP

I received this tag from Madhavi and I am passing this on to Shinjini

24 bloggers have got together to celebrate six months of 2019 from June 17-19. They will have to start the sentence with “Six months into 2019 and I” and then carry forward in their own unique ways, and share what the last six months meant to them. So don’t forget to read these posts and share some love.

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

34 thoughts on “Six Months into 2019 and I Found My Muse Back #ZombieBlogHop

  1. Aesha says:

    Missed reading your posts so much. I just realised that while I wasn’t writing, I should have at least read the posts of my favourites which I did not, and that is what didn’t give me the motivation to write. I am so happy you found your muse back and will have a notification in my mailbox from Trina Looks Back more often.

    Like

    • Balaka says:

      This comment is so heartwarming. I never realised that I would be missed..it makes me feel even more guilty of not writing for so long. Aesha, you have always been a darling. Love ya

      Liked by 1 person

  2. the bespectacled mother says:

    Okay, hmmm theek hai! I accept the credit you are giving me for shaking you out of your stupor. You know I take my role as a friend seriously, aakhir friendhsip ke bhi kuch KRAs hote hain. I am glad you found your muse back. Getting it back is also easy. All it took you was writing that first sentence. By the way, the dialogue between you and your muse sounded quite romantic. I am imagining your muse confidently standing there smiling (with its arms open) and saying “Dekha vapas aana pada na Senorita.” 😀 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Balaka says:

      Uffff…start writing screenplay for Karan Johar or YRF…by the way agar romantic hi laga to gender mein “it” ki jagah “he” likh dete..maza aa jata..burape pe chamak aa jati…love you Anu for always being there 😍😍

      Like

  3. Anagha Yatin says:

    First paragraph into your post and I wondered if you had worded my state of being!
    I am so happy to see that you are back now, ’cause I am a big fan of your stories, musings and reflections. Welcome back, Balaka!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Apeksha Rao says:

    I so feel you re the muse, Balaka. Mine keeps waltzing in and out of my life, without prior notice. When my muse is missing, reading helps keep the sadness at bay. Hope yours sticks around for a long time, and that you keep writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Parul Thakur says:

    Good that your muse is back. I was wondering that I hadn’t read you in a long time but assumed that you would be on one of your amazing travels. So happy you joined and welcomed the muse back into your home 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. writershilpa says:

    Am I glad your muse returned and you begged her to stay back!!!
    This is so so good, B, to see you here after all these days. Kya re, influencer bann gayi? Kisko influence kiya? Aur kya karney ko influence kiya? 😛
    Anyway, now that you are here, please don’t wander away again.
    It was a pleasure reading your post, and am looking forward to more.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Vinitha says:

    Just a couple weeks ago when I was talking to Anamika, I told her that it’s been so long since I read your post. I thought I wasn’t visiting you. Then she said that you haven’t been writing. Anyway, I am glad to see you back here. Have you read the book by Elizabeth Gilbert “Big Magic”? Creative inspiration always hang around waiting for us to take a notice. We are the crime doers ignoring it. I know I do that all the time. Did it today too. 😦 Not proud.
    I’m glad though you are cured of “influenzaa”. Go write now, you have so much to write to compensate for the past 6 months. Right, Balaka? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Natasha says:

    Welcome back, Tina. Glad you are back with a bang. I’ve myself have been off the blogging radar for the last 6 months, but thanks to #WW the muse keeps chugging. Didn’t realise you were on a forced sabbatical too.

    But I’m sure the muse will be back armed and teeming with ideas. All the very best!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Esha M Dutta says:

    Yes, the Muse is a very tyrannical little imp in my opinion. Comes and goes on its’ own whims, in my case. I’m always ready to welcome it with open arms, though! 🙂 But, yes, I know what you mean. I guess life takes precedence at times and now that your Muse is back, it’s good to see you back to writing and blogging. I thought your content-writing work has been keeping you busy from writing on the blog!!
    Looking forward to your wonderful stories once again, Tina. Wishing the rest of 2019 resolves your problems, sorts out the little niggling issues and brings you an abundance of happiness, contentment and joy in life. And, of course, wishing that the Muse stays with you forever.

    Much love and hugs

    Liked by 1 person

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