I lost a Family Member to Covid- Things you shouldn’t ignore

Last week, we lost my husband’s elder brother to covid. He was only 58 years old. His death was so sudden that even now I feel like it is just a bad dream. However, good and bad both are part of life and we should accept them.

An awareness of death enables us to live each day each moment—filled with appreciation for the unique opportunity we have to create something of our time on earth. I believe that in order to enjoy true happiness, we should live each moment as if it were our last. Today will never return. We may speak of the past or of the future, but the only reality we have is that of this present instant. And confronting the reality of death actually enables us to bring unlimited creativity, courage and joy into each instant of our lives.

Daisaku Ikeda

Dada, (as I used to call him) was a man full of positivity, good energy and laughter. He was always smiling and spreading joy. He was a deeply religious man and loved his wife to the moon and back. They have been married for thirty years and still they behaved like ‘honeymoon couple’. Dada was always full of praise and appreciation for his wife. In last 15 years, I never saw them fighting or arguing. I never heard him utter a single bad thing about his wife. Dada was always hugging and kissing his wife even during large family gatherings. He was even frowned upon in the extended family for his PDA.

Dada’s death taught me quite a few lessons regarding how to handle COVID in a better way. Most people are not taking COVID seriously. It is sad to say that Dada belonged to that category. His negligence caused his death. He didn’t get tested early. He didn’t measure his oxygen level properly. He stayed home even when his oxygen level went down below 80. He was going out regularly when he was supposed to stay home. Probably he didn’t wear his mask properly or wash his hands the way he should have. Now, there is no point regretting because we won’t be able to bring him back. However, those of you who are reading this please take care of yourself and obey the COVID guidelines diligently.

Photo by Nandhu Kumar on Pexels.com
  • Do not neglect symptoms: A pandemic is going on and it is important that you do not neglect symptoms. If you have any of the symptoms like sore throat, cough, fever, body ache, fatigue, lack of smell, lack of taste or lack of appetite then do try to get tested. These days private laboratories are also doing covid testing. They are coming home to collect samples. Do not wait and get tested.
  • Thermometer and Oxymeter: These two instruments can save your life. Check for fever at regular intervals. Check you oxygen level on a pulse oxymeter. If your level goes below 95 then immediately visit the ER. If you do not get admission then start oxygen support at home after consulting the doctor.
  • Wear a mask: Most people consider the mask as a botheration. I plead all of you to wear masks whenever you step out of the house.
  • Wash your hands: Try to wash your hands for 30 seconds frequently.
  • Sanitize: Your home, office, door knobs, switch boards, table, faucets should be sanitised regularly.
  • Avoid gatherings: Do not visit crowded places. Maintain social distancing, avoid social gatherings.
  • Live in the moment: This is the time when you should live in the moment and make best use of it.

Dada and his wife had always planned to start enjoying their lives after the kids were settled. They never took a vacation, went out for movies, went out to eat or go on a trip. They were focused in bringing up the kids and planned that once the kids were settled and they became empty nester then they would start doing all the fun stuff.

We shouldn’t wait for tomorrow and make the best out of today. Create your bucket list and start doing whatever you ever wanted to do, today itself. However, one thing that Dada did was never fail to say ‘I love you’ to his spouse, something that many of us take granted and stop doing after few years into the relationship.

Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Pexels.com

15 thoughts on “I lost a Family Member to Covid- Things you shouldn’t ignore

  1. Natasha says:

    This is such a tough one.
    I’m glad you wrote this post. Would have helped you to an extent to heal and others who need to be more aware.

    The quote by Sensei is beautiful and one of my favourites.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Balaka says:

      Awareness is the key to heal or cure any disease. Awareness should be both on the part of doctor and patient. After working as a patient advocate I have seen that patients who are careful, disciplined and aware about their condition heal faster from whatever disease they are suffering from. We are quick to blame the doctors and government but completely ignore our own responsibility.


  2. neelstoria says:

    So sorry to hear this. He stayed home even when his oxygen level went down below 80, this was really shocking. Probably he wouldn’t have understood the severity. However, the fact is that death is destined and such things are just excuses.
    I lost my father very recently and very suddenly too, not Covid though.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. krish says:

    Sorry to hear about your loss …
    Yes guard should be always up…every little care should be taken to fight corona…
    Life is to be lived and enjoyed…but caution should not be thrown to wind..
    Stay blessed 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Corinne Rodrigues says:

    Once again, my condolences to your family, Balaka. It’s sad that he died because of carelessness, but we can all learn lessons from this, as you’ve pointed out so well.
    We’re being as cautious as possible and don’t know how to respond to people who are being so casual about the pandemic and putting themselves and others at risk.
    I know we can’t live in constant fear, but we must also not push our luck.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Akshata Ram says:

    Really sorry to hear about your loss Balaka, it’s indeed shocking and sudden. Your tips will greatly help people. ApArt from the mask etc living in the moment is another imp one people often ignore but just really matters, a life well lived for oneself.

    Liked by 1 person

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