How to deal with a Toxic person

We all have to deal with some or the other toxic person in our lives. Some of us grew up with toxic parents, some had a toxic sibling, some had a toxic friend in school who bullied you, some of us had toxic girl/boyfriends, some are married to a toxic spouse, some have toxic in-laws, toxic bosses or neighbours. Many of us are also dealing with toxic news channels and political parties or twitter trolls. The list is endless. Here are some tips on how to deal with these toxic people.

  • Acceptance: First thing is to accept that these people are toxic. No matter what good intentions you have in your heart, these people will never value it. They are like poison, they will contaminate whatever comes close to them. Therefore, first thing is accept them the way they are.
  • Do not try to change them: This is a mistake most of us make. We feel that we can change them. We try and try till the time we are broken and exhausted but they will never change. Once again accept that they will never change.
  • Do not take them seriously: This one is the toughest part, but once you start practicing this, soon you would see the difference. Toxic people are liars, manipulators and treacherous. They are skilled in gaslighting others. They would leave no opportunity to belittle you. They would blame you for everything. Believe in yourself. Be confident about yourself and do not take whatever they say to your heart.
  • Do not fall prey to their victimhood: Toxic people love to play the victim card and blame others. They are perpetually sad and they seek sympathy and compassion all the time without giving anything back in return. Compassion is a good virtue, have compassion for them but do not let them manipulate you with their victim card.
  • Avoid arguing with them: These people survive on fights. While normal people feel drained out after a fight, toxic people feel energised. Fighting and quarelling is their energy tonic. They keep searching for opportunities to fight. The best is to consciously avoid arguing with them. No matter how hard you try, you can never win a fight with them.
  • Draw boundaries: You cannot change them, you cannot win a fight with them but that doesn’t mean they win. Learn to draw boundaries. Be firm and do not do whatever they want you to do. In a calm tone, without getting perplexed stay firm on your decision. These people are cowards and they fear strong resistance.
  • Ignore them: It is easily said than done but try to ignore their toxicity. Do not take anything they say or do to heart.
  • Toxicity is a mental disorder: Treat these people as someone who is sick. They may not even realize how toxic they are or how much harm they are causing to others. They are selfish and narcissistic people. Treat them with compassion similar to the person who is deranged.
  • Love yourself: Toxic people are energy vampires. They can drain away all your positive energy. It is extremely important to love yourself in this situation. Surround yourself with positive people, try to do things that makes you happy, smile more often and be happy. Do not depend on the appreciation or validation of a toxic person.
  • Have faith in Karma: In my life, I have seen that karma never spares anybody. Do not try to punish the toxic people in your life. Wait and watch Karma do it for you. What they do to you they pay back.
  • Forgive: This seems difficult but try to forgive them. Whenever they start hurting you, be mindful, do not react immediately, stay calm and keep telling yourself that even though the person is hurting me, I do forgive. Be mindful of your hurt. Often we feel hurt but are vague about what exactly hurt us. Being mindful would help us pinpoint where it hurt most and also help us forgive the toxic person. No matter you are responsible for your own emotions. Take charge of your emotions and do not let the toxic person hurt you. Forgive them.

7 thoughts on “How to deal with a Toxic person

  1. souwesterly001 says:

    The note on people belittling blaming & gaslighting; had that before. That ties into the other point of the victim. The asshole would make them look like the victim. The only reason I’m commenting is to ask what nasty tricks bullies and false friends use (consciously or unconsciously) to manipulate people?

    Forgive them, definitely, absolutely. There is almost certainly pain (or lack of empathy) behind much of such toxic behaviour; both must be addressed.

    If people treat me like that, I won’t want to be their friend (unless I was desperate). Draw boundaries.

    I appreciate the friends I do have although I don’t have many, but thank goodness, I don’t have any ‘toxic’ friends anymore.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. DJ@WordsKraft says:

    We should maintain a safe distance from toxic people, no matter who they are. Even if they are our parents, spouse or children we should learn to avoid them because self love is the greatest love. We need to look out for our own sanity, and we cannot afford to lose it by coming in close contact with such people.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. souwesterly001 says:

    We are a social animal, We need friends and people around us (not the toxic kind). You should love the person you are, your temprament, what makes you tick because gosh, knowing these things really does help you ‘not give a sh**’ about those who reject you. Why do people stick with toxic friends (or relationships)? The answer is simple; fear of loneliness & that there’s no alternative; if that’s all people have known. Well, truth is I’d say there’s a better world out there. Some people might be young and had the misfortune to have ONLY known MOSTLY toxic relationships (who may not have a reference point). There’s god-knows how many people on this planet. There’s definitely good people.

    Although I don’t have many friends, those (on fingers counting) friends I do have are there & can be counted on.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. writershilpa says:

    It is definitely difficult forgiving such people, coz the mean things they say can stay with us for life! But, apart from forgiving them and loving ourselves and surrounding ourselves with our kind of people, there isn’t much we can do, right?


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