When I was a young girl, I used to do things differently. I was timid, judgmental, self-conscious, and above all suffered from low self-esteem. These characteristics affected the way how I used to deal with things. However, thankfully with age comes wisdom and we realize all the mistakes that we did. If I get an opportunity to go back in time then I would do many things differently. Unfortunately, that is not possible. Here are a list of things that I have stopped doing.
- Not Being Grateful: I had not realized the importance of gratitude when I was younger. Only thankful people can be happy. Unless you feel grateful for what you have, you can never feel happy about what you do not have. Gratitude made me realize that I was given an imperfect but beautiful life. Every struggle, every sadness, every bitterness made me what I am today. I am deeply grateful for everything. Ever since I started my gratitude journal, I have started noticing the beauty of life. Life can be difficult yet beautiful. The more you appreciate your life, the more you attract happiness and peace. Therefore, I encourage everyone to start a gratitude journal.
- Giving Importance to Material Possessions: Like everyone else, I was also guilty of giving importance to material possessions. However, gradually I realized that material possessions cannot give happiness. I used to have a bunch of friends who always discussed the bigger car, bigger house, fancy clothes and they used to look down upon those who didn’t have it. Salary checks were compared. Thankfully, they are no longer my friends. I do not want my friends to value me for the brand of car I drive or the brand of clothes I wear. I am a minimalist and I have stopped accumulating stuff. I am highly inspired by the minimalist philosophy and you can read Becoming Minimalist to know more.
- Comparing My Life to Others: I was guilty of comparing my life to others. I always felt ‘grass is greener’ for them. However, with age, I have realized that everyone is fighting their own battles. What looks on the outside is not what is going on inside. Maybe the ‘happily married couple‘ on Facebook are actually in a toxic relationship. Maybe the girl with lots of admirers was a victim of pedophilia as a child. Maybe the girl always posing as a model had an abusive father who never loved her. Everyone has a story and that story is unique. Thinking that I had a miserable life while others do not was a wrong thing.
- Tolerating Toxic people: In my life, I have come across many toxic people. Some of them are family, some are friends or colleagues. My biggest flaw was that I never stood up against these toxic people. I allowed them to keep continuing their toxic behavior. Over the years, I realized that these people were not adding any value to my life and it is best to get rid of them. Thanks to the modern smartphone that gives you the option to block people. I have literally blocked people. I have completely stopped encouraging or tolerating those whom I consider toxic. To me quality matters over quantity. It is good to have a few good friends than a room full of toxic people pretending to be friends.
- Being a People Pleaser: I used to be a people pleaser. I used to say or do things that would make people like me. However, now I speak my mind. If I do not like something, I am vocal about it. I have stopped bothering to be the ‘most popular one’. I would rather be the ‘most weird one’.
- Saying ‘Yes’ when I wanted to say No: I cringe when I think about all the parties I had to attend only because I was unable to decline the invitation. So many times I had to meet people when I absolutely wanted to sit at home and read a book. Gone are those days now I simply say NO if I do not want to do something. A NO means NO.
- Begging To Accept Me: So many times I have begged people to accept and love me. In college, there was a group that was the ‘popular’ group in college. I was young and considered that being part of that group would make me ‘cool’. I became part of that group even though there was nothing in common between them and me. Now I feel funny when I think how desperate I was. These days I do not want to be ‘cool’ anymore. I am happy being ‘uncool’. I just want to be ME. It is better to be alone than being surrounded by fake friends.
- Underestimating my Self Worth: For the longest time, I have suffered from accepting my true self-worth. I always underestimated my features, intelligence, and self-confidence. It took me years to accept and show self-love. I have reached a stage where I do not need to please anyone but me.
- Not Investing in my Health: I ignored my health for a long time. However, now I have started giving importance to both my physical and mental health. I have changed my lifestyle and progressing towards a healthy lifestyle.
- Not Spending Time with Myself: I am my best friend. I love spending time with myself. There was a time when being alone used to make me nervous. However, now I just love my own company. Me-time is the most relaxing time for me.
Tell me what are the few things that you have stopped doing?