In my previous post, I wrote about how I want to heal in 2022. Healing wouldn’t happen overnight. It is a process that is going to take time. The roadmap of the healing journey is slightly complicated. It is going to be a journey within. In this journey, I have to be introspective and look within myself. I need to look at my habits, thoughts, mannerisms, and idiosyncrasies. Once I identify the problem areas, I need to improve myself. At the end of the healing journey, I wish to become a better person. I would want to become more compassionate, tolerant, and spiritual. As discussed in the previous post, healing starts with accepting, forgiving, and thanking. I may add here the words “improving” and “rectifying” also. To heal, the first thing that I need to do is get rid of my bad habits. We all have bad habits but most of us live in denial. Self-care starts when we accept those bad habits, forgive ourselves for those habits and then discard them. Once we “declutter” our minds from these bad habits, we get closer to our healing goals. Emotional healing starts with mindfulness. Here are the bad habits that I want to get rid of.
Judging Others: Let me confess, I do judge others. I judge a person for their political orientation, cultural inclination, intellectual abilities, bad grammar, book choices, movie choices, clothes, etc. The list is long. I am no saint. For example, if I find someone watching saas-bahu serials, or reading and enjoying a Chetan Bhagat novel, I judge. However, in 2022, I would like to be less judgemental. I need to get down from the high horse and not judge others for their life choices. Who am I to judge? It is their life their choices. Let them enjoy whatever floats their boat. I should respect the choice of another person even if it differs from mine.
Gossiping: Most people gossip. Unless you have become a saint in the Himalayas, it is unlikely that you can avoid gossips. We gossip about our friends, family members, colleagues, neighbors, and celebrities. There are two types of gossiping, one is where you share problems/information with your friends and listen to theirs. The other is spreading rumors. The latter is harmful and I have never consciously indulged in it. Gossiping has certain benefits, especially it helps you bond with others, generates empathy, keeps anxiety at bay, and also helps in problem-solving. Gossips can be harmless, however, there is a thin line between gossiping and bitching. Often when you are indulging in gossiping, a herd mentality comes into action, and we end up being unnecessarily over-critical. This year, I would try to be more mindful and avoid unnecessary discussions about another person.
Listen more, Talk less: Everyone wants to talk, everyone wants attention, everyone wants likes on social media. In this age of “talkers”, there are very few listeners. Nobody has the time or patience to listen these days. Therefore, this year, I would like to listen more, understand more and learn more from my friends (both online and offline).
Observe more: Observing is an act of mindfulness. Simply observing is so therapeutic. Apart from observing nature, we can also observe people and situations around us. Careful observation can help us see things in a nuanced manner. Often we jump to conclusions without observing properly a situation or person. Observing carefully can help us see through things. This year, in a particularly critical situation, I decided to give myself some time and simply observe. I did nothing but kept observing and gradually a lot of the things became clear. When we are busy taking action we often miss out on the finer details. Observation can help us assess the situation more accurately.
Stop Comparing: We all consciously or unconsciously compare our lives with others. Thanks to social media, there is no escaping from comparing because some people will literally point out to you. I am yet to become a Buddha, therefore, there are days when I fall into the trap and start comparing. I have compared even silly things like they have a better window curtain than mine. All of us are guilty of this. However, this year, I would consciously refrain from comparing my life with that of others. I am grateful for what I have, even if it is not as beautiful as theirs.
Become a giver: We are always busy taking something from nature, society, or relationships. However, to grow as a person it is important to become a giver. I should try to give back more than I take. I will try to give back to nature by nurturing a garden, making compost, and reducing plastic waste. I will try to give back to society by volunteering for social services. I will give more time and effort to my relationships.
These are my goals for the year 2022. What are your goals? If you are struggling with achieving your goals then do read my post on push goals and pull goals where I have discussed how to make achievable resolutions. That post helped many to fulfill their goals. So read it before writing down your resolution for 2022.