A whole bunch of grey hair is adorning my forehead these days. Each time I visit the salon, the hairstylist makes me feel ashamed of my greying hair. He keeps suggesting numerous dyes, hair color, highlighter, streaks, blah! blah! blah! The same is when I meet my friends. They keep giving me advice on how to color my hair and look younger. However, the truth is that I love my grey hair. Yes, you heard it right. I love the grey patch.
Unlike many, I am not ashamed of growing old. Rather I am excited to grow old. Just like when you pass college and get excited to enter the workspace to implement all your skills and education. I am also excited to apply all the knowledge, wisdom, and maturity that I have earned in the last four decades into my life.
Honestly, I am not proud of my twenties. I was not exactly a rogue. I was a law-abiding, obedient, and ‘good’ girl. However, I was naive. I used to think from my heart and not my head. I made many bad decisions in my twenties from attracting wrong toxic friends, wrong career choices, and letting others hurt me. I didn’t practice self-care. I didn’t protect myself and let myself be vulnerable.
Throughout my thirties, I was salvaging and redeeming the wrong decisions and choices of my twenties. However, when I reached my forties, I realized that I have become a better version. No, I am not yet the best version of myself but definitely better. I am stronger, more confident, and most importantly protective of myself. I have the courage to speak my mind. More fearless and sceptical than my twenties.
I have also stopped reacting to every situation. My Buddhist practice has made me a calmer person. I always try to see things from the other person’s perspective. I try to analyze why the person is reacting the way they are. This helps me avoid a lot of confrontations. I have also learned to practice patience.
Therefore, back to my grey hair. Each grey hair on my forehead is like a certificate that I have gained after learning a lesson from life. Each grey hair is like a badge of honor and wisdom. I have looked young for forty years and now I want to look like a graceful middle-aged woman. I do not want to look or behave like a bubbly young school girl anymore. I want to keep my heart young with love, empathy, and compassion but let my body grow old the way nature wants it.
I care for the environment and do you know how much carbon footprint the cosmetic industry is leaving behind? Well, I do not want to judge or make you ashamed of your life choices. Just don’t make me feel ashamed for my grey hair. I respect your choice, you do mine.
P.S. I learned a new word while writing this post. It is called Gerascophobia. It is the excessive fear of growing older. I already have a phobia of snakes (Ophidiophobia). fear of unorganized space (ataxophobia), fear of large mathematical equations (arithmophobia), and fear of dentists (dentophobia). I have enough phobias, let Gerascophobia not be on my list.
PPS: The following image is only for reference. I just wish to look this bohemian and sexy with my grey hair. wink! wink!